Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Inside the Mind of a Long Distance Runner

Dear Bloggy,

Ok, so you think people who want to run are crazy, and people who like to go multiple miles are even crazier. Well I am here to prove to you that, well, they are crazy!
Here is my play-by-play train of thought from start to finish on an ordinary outdoor run:

6:30 - Wow, I can't believe I am up this early, awesome! I hope it isn't too hot- no, it's not too hot, yes! Ok, so what song do I want to warm up to? I think Led Zeppelin's Kashmir would be an excellent choice.

Neighbor house.

Yeah, I'm feeling this song.

Another neighbor house.

"Oh let the sun beat down upon my face" - this song is totally the best running song for outdoor summer runs in the desert! Fox news comparing us to the Sahara desert, geez.

Sister So-and-So's house, I kind of hope she doesn't see me run by because she has told me in the past that I am never going to get married because I'm weird, needless to say that is quite an easy way to make any encounter awkward so I just forget and run faster.

Other So-and-So-in-my-ward's house, man, I can't believe their son who is a peer-my-age is already on his mission, they're all leaving or gone!

Let's see...what route do I want to do today? Dad's suggestion for the creepy canal trail sounds great seeing as, since it is 6:30 there will be lots of people out running or dog-walking, the sun is out, it's a prettier trail than the main streets, and I have my mace, so I feel pretty safe. Alright, sounds great.

How far is that I wonder?

I am getting sick of Led Zeppelin, what's next?

Muse, yeahhhh.

My old adolescent crush's house, he's most likely not there since he moved out so he can go live "freely" more. Man, good thing I got over him before high school, probably one of the best decisions I ever made in Junior High because there was just not going to be any compatability.

Oh look, pavement

House

Pretty Tree

House

Runner going the opposite way, I should smile at them because I am glad they are out working on their fitness too and they make me feel safer outside

Pavement

My old elementary, man that was a very interesting year. I think I should cross at the school's cross walk.

Man, this Muse song is really intense, is it Hyper Music? Oh, nope.

Two not-dressed-in-the-gear cyclists pass me, aren't bikes easier than running?

Light. Gah, I hate this light. Hit the button again, I think it helps.

Cake's "The Distance", danget, that's my "no matter what you are revving up the intensity" song. I kind of hate it now, but I still speed up.

Straighten your posture! It'll help your back pain later. And my violin teacher recommended to try it, who knew I would learn a lesson about how to run better last week from him?

Hey, there's the trail!

Old lady with her dog coming out, young lady with her boxer dog is going in, old guy walking, and a van parked there? I thought it said no vehicles, will it get confiscated?

That chick with her boxer is pretty funny, I wonder if that dog used to speed up way too much before, I'm recalling my dog-walking business when I was ten and the dog ripped me off my scooter.

Hitting the hump, just keep a pace. Cake's "I Will Survive" feels more than applicable right now.

Trailer-ville is approaching.

Really skinny old lady running opposite direction across the dried up side of the canal, she has to be a marathon runner or a workout junkie depending by how tiny she is. I am so impressed I think I will try the trail on the other side when I turn around, that looks good.

Water canal

Water flowing, that's a wonder in the desert

Old run-down houses, can't decide if it would be nice to be right by this canal or completely awful

Boxer decides to go for a swim, chick looks a little impatient, that's funny.

Bored yet? :P It gets better now, I promise:

Man, let's go for six or seven miles today, Provo half-Marathon, here I come!

Cross street, I'm in slightly-eerie trailer ville now. This time I don't pay attention to the trail but rather notice that this trailer park has a gazillion palm trees!!! Ok, so in reality maybe five hundred. But this palm tree forest is actually a really weird part of Mesa.

I take a picture with my phone's camera thinking of a few BYU friends who would appreciate this, I think I'll tell them that this is what all of Mesa looks like, hahahahaha.

Ok, maybe that joke to my Utah friends isn't that funny, keep running, maybe I can catch up to the dog-walking chick.

Wow, Main street is coming up a lot quicker this time.

Boxer chick and dog turn around to head back and I smile at her and her dog, dog is smiling ear to ear but I keep a safe distance from him.

Creepy shirtless skinny old man approaching, I've got mace. He smiles, I kind of smile, ok, we're good.

7:00, I'm making pretty good time! Hey wait, I have to be back home soon for Piano!

"Love is our resistance, keep us apart and they wont' stop breaking us down"

Home front now, whoa - is that old guy really small or does he have a HUGE dog?

"It could be wrong, could be wrong, but it should've been right."

I'm not sure that is a dog, I think that guy may have tamed a wolf, I haven't seen a dog THAT big! Oh, it's stopping to look at me! I can't decide if he wants to chase and tackle me or if he's going to run to my rescue if some creepy mugger jumps out of nowhere.

Man, I have a lot of Muse on my workout playlist...geez, but it works.

Thank goodness for trees, they are tender mercies.

These are weird trailer-houses, I wonder if old people occupy them or creepy mugger people.

Whoa, hey, that's a jack-rabbit! It's a lot smaller than I thought they would be. I've never seen one on a run before, cool!

Unnatural Selection, my new sprinting song, the organs at the beginning are kind of ominous like they are saying "get ready to get your butt kicked"

Man, I'll be home soon! Whoa, 7:15 already?

"The Lucky don't care at all."

Hmm, Muse has a point. The lucky who are naturally thin and rich would probably qualify for this category.

I just hate when they complain about how fat they are and then they stay fat, if they really wanted to lose weight, then they would go out and kick themselves in the butt and learn to do it right, not just do it for a week and quit. I mean, it's not like I'm naturally thin.

It's getting hot, but keep going legs! Keep sprinting. Stay on rhythm, danget.

Gosh, it's too hot, and I can't do this for three minutes, ok, just keep a pace.

On the home front now.

Long Light, cars don't run me over

Tree

Houses

Elementary

This is very symmetrical if you think about it.

Sprint again, finish strong.

Old adolescent crush's house. Again. I wonder what he's doing for summer vacation anyway.

Neighborhood.

Stranger. Racist creeper mugger thoughts, I still have my mace right on hand. Nope, this guy is just a good hard worker, phew, good for him.

Cool down song: The Pixies - Here Comes Your Man. I love this song right now

Ah, home! Yes! Almost there.

I think I want to puke.

Water.

Let's see, my abs and my inner thighs hurt, awesome, problem areas, so this was a good workout today

Water, I want a big icy cup!

Don't puke, my legs feel really heavy. And I feel like a dust bowl and all sweaty and gross.

Yes, we're done!


There you go ladies and gents. Not my most exciting run but certainly not my most boring. No creepy Satan-worshiper-looking-men-on-bikes, a bunch of Latin guys hitting on me in Spanish, or me screaming because I thought a hobo came up from under a bridge to jump on me when it really was another girl running. And I didn't have any super epiphanies about life this time. But you know, I'm cool with it.

So here's a question I lay out to you folks: what do you think about when you are working out?


Sincerely,
Bills

Music: My "Work It!" play list, but Muse's "Unnatural Selection" gets kudos this time
Mood: happily tired
Random Fact about Me: I have ran for two years now and conservatively estimate 200 miles have been put in, before I started I could barely do a mile without getting major side aches and pain. I'm planning on registering for a half-marathon for October 30th once I make some income again.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha ha! I enjoyed this immensely! I think similar things- only I run through what I have to do that day and week, what or who is stressing me out, and use that crap to propel a harder run!

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