Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Dream Diary, Episode 6: Can you tell me how to escape Sesame Street

A Disclaimer: I found this dream extremely disturbing. Nothing graphic compared to the reoccurring zombie apocalyptic dreams I experience, but I woke up at 3:30 a.m. unable to go back to asleep because I believed Sesame Street-like characters waited outside my window to take me. For real. 

So the dream starts at the house I lived in as a younger child in Utah, the same old neighborhood except my current roommates and I inhabit the house and my neighbors consist of members from my current church congregation.

The rain will not stop pouring and it continues to stay extremely gray outside. My current crush pulls up to my house in an old-school car and trench coat, almost identical to the iconic rain scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's (which is odd because I never watched that scene in the movie so it really has no significance to me).

He visited weekly, but today he looked especially grimaced and wouldn't make eye contact during his visit. He sat down at the kitchen table next to me, took my hand, and told me he married a girl today. Not a trace of joy in his voice, he explained how he knew it was the right decision and she would come over soon so they could leave for their big trip. On queue, the girl came down from upstairs with suitcases and they began loading the car - because it wasn't creepy at all that she hung out upstairs monitoring this conversation. The rain falls heavier while I watched her pack up the car. He stood there looking at me for a long time, as if we would never see each other again, and I told him that I hope he was happy. He didn't respond to my comment, looked down and said goodbye.

As the car pulls away, Fictionist's new album, specifically the song "Lock and Key" plays in the background as I hold back tears while the rain pours harder and gets darker.

I go back inside, where my roommate stood present for the whole conversation, and I begin to explain that something about his marriage feels completely wrong.  Without suggesting my feelings, I try to indirectly say he should've been with me. She questions why I think it's wrong and I explain how weird it is that a girl shows out of the blue since he's not the type to impulsively marry, and something about the girl came off as extremely controlling.

She agrees at its oddity and the conversation goes silent when a black 1940 Chevy pulls up in our driveway. Rain still pouring. Song changes to another track on Fictionist's album, "Statue in the Stone." I get this immediate "something terribly bad is about to happen" feeling and hide back inside the basement stairs and ask my roommate to answer the door, or better yet, pretend we aren't home and hide.

A group of Sesame Street /Muppet-like characters stand outside, spaced out and arms crossed behind their backs with dark coats and sunglasses. My roommate gets chills but goes to answer the door as the characters already saw us and insisted we open the door.

As she starts to open a door, a yellow Sesame Street character identical to the one right outside the door magically shows up inside by our side, slams the door shut on her identical twin, grabs both of our arms, rushes us up the stairs and explains that they are the Illuminati out to get us, and since they found us we were no longer safe. She opens the closet door upstairs which changed to a teleportation device. She explains the only way to be safe now is to go where the teleport closet takes us and have our complete identities destroyed.

The closet transports me to a place that looks like District 13 from the Hunger Games. We stand in tubes that begin "fragmenting" us to destroy our identities that the Illuminati can track. I breathe deeply as my whole body floats in the tube, I watch my flesh turn into spinning number codes and the numbers begin to leave my body.

The volume to the chorus of "Statue in the Stone" increases and the dream closes out with me watching my DNA completely alter and the lyrics blaring, "I am young but I have grown to stand alone | I'm the statue in the stone | I am alive but I am ready to face the unknown."

Kind of epic, right? I could make a movie with this stuff and ruin everybody's childhood.

Still struggling to look out my window though because I'm convinced the Sesame Street Illuminati are out to get me, and thinking eating chocolate cereal right before bed is probably a bad idea since it always causes psychological thriller nightmares.


  1. That's crazy!! I'm so glad the Muppets aren't the Illuminati...what would stop them from grabbing kids through the TV??!

    1. For real, though. I'm glad somebody understands how creepy it would be if Muppets were evil.